SUN, SKY AND SATANIC SLUTS

Joss Stone at The Brits

Roseanne at The Superbowl

Julian Clary at The TV Awards.

Britney at The Hairdresser.

Oh how the world laughed when these idols fell off the pedestals we had so gracefully elevated them onto. It seems like 'celeb tipping' is the new Atkins. Everybody's doing it. Phillip Schofield gave Katona a shoulder swipe last week and has pretty much ruined her career, again. And yesterday saw the swift and lasting crucifixion of Russell Brand - a man who as far as I know has never promoted himself as anything but offensive. I've pretty much no idea what it's all about, other than it involves a lot of hot air being blown around but it has been fascinating over the last 24 hours to watch the celebrities being thrown to the lions. The fate of Ross is yet to be decided, but somehow I can't quite see the BBC let their golden boy fall on his sword.
Content of the 'issue' aside, it makes me ponder issues about the power of the press and news stations. While I see them as having a very simple function which is to report the news, increasingly they are influencing and shaping the news. Watch Sky News for anything longer than 15 minutes and you'll see how desperately they cling to a story, fanning the flames with a series of rabidly hysterical commentators. The Sun is no better. But we'll come to them later. While working in my little home office yesterday I had Sky News on in the other room for some background chatter. Their day started, like mine, a little slow and not very exciting. They were asking "Should Brand apologise?" which seemed fair enough. By mid-morning they were showing the interview with the Satanic Slut from the Satanic Sun who was asked the leading question "Should they lose their jobs?". Her hesitant "....errr yes" was turned into SACHS FAMILY SAYS SACK BRAND by Sky news within the hour. By lunchtime they had MP Nigel Evans saying Brand and Ross should be sacked. At the announcement of their suspension, it was the equivalent of driving a car into a bonfire. Rather than feeling satisfied and just, Sky asked "Should the BBC be held to account?" and invited ex-Sun editor Calvin McKenzie on to tell us all that "the entire structure and hierarchy of the BBC needed to be dismantled from top to bottom" because of this. Really? Seriously? But only 2 people complained about the Brand show when it was aired. It it hadn't been for all the media attention boosting that to 20,000 (still a minute number) nobody would care.

The Sky "news"reader almost spontaneously ejaculated when he heard they were going live to the home of Andrew Sachs, the innocent victim in this drama. Taking a leaf from the "Dick and Dom" school of interviews (see below), one particular journalist was determined to get his money shot. The interview went something like this...
Journo Scum: "How terrible are you feeling today?"
Sachs: "Ok actually"
Journo Scum: (Srsly? Oh..) "And how are you feeling about (menacing voice) Brand and Ross?"
Sachs: "Actually they have both written me lovely letters which I appreciate"
Journo: (shit) "Do you feel let down by the BBC?"
Sachs: "They are under a lot of pressure from competition, it's different from my days"
Journo: (Ha!) "So do you feel standards have slipped?"
Sachs: "No, standards have just changed"
Journo: (DESPERATE): "FOR THE WORSE??"
Sachs: "No, for the better in some cases"Journo: (OMFG!! NOOOO!) "So..... do you think they should apologise to your granddaughter"
Sachs: "Yes, I..."
Journo (WOO HOO) "Kthnxbai... and cut".
And then the next 'news bulletin' showed a heavily edited version where none of the positive bits were shown. It makes me crazy with anger!! The remaining player in this little drama is the Satanic Slut herself, Sach's Granddaughter. Within 24 hours The Sun have transformed her from innocent little wide-eyed victim girl to vampish sex mad temptress. Nice. Seems like she can say whatever she likes about Russell Brand with no fear of comeback. And funny how the Sun videos of her started out yesterday looking like this, shot on a mobile phone in someone's office:

to this.

I depair at times, when we are constantly told DON'T BELIEVE WHAT THE GOVERNMENT SAYS by the media who then tell us what they want us to believe anyway. The news creates the news, and it hurts my head to think about what is true and what isn't. By yesterday evening when Russell Brand resigned from the BBC, there was no sign of this story losing momentum. I wonder how the original 2 complainants are feeling. I wonder how the Satanic Slut is feeling. I wonder if the head of Sky News or the editor of The Sun have any feelings?