DOM-HEAD

So the one from Dick & Dom who isn't Ant or Dec or Dick has appeared in the Sun today under one of those MY DRUGS SHAME headines.  He was filmed, on a mobile phone, outside a nightclub while smoking a fag and being a bit pissed.  Frankly, I don't care about him at all.  I like Dick & Dom, but in the grand scheme of things he's fairly irrelevant.  What REALLY annoys me is Citizen Manc-Lad Journalist who decides to use his crappy Nokia to turn this into a money making opportunity.  Suddenly he becomes all Jeremy Kyle.  It reminded me of the bit in Bridget Jones when she is talking to the police about her parents and finds herself using words like 'Caucasian'.  

There's something about this Manc Scally's approach that just seems like he has been practising this in his head for a long time.  Rather than taking the opportunity to innocently chat to this poor drunken mini-celeb, he decides to turn up the heat.  "ARE YOU ON DRUGS?" he yells.  No, says Dom, swaying.  "WHY NOT" comes the next machine gun question.  Apparently Dom has a heart condition and is not allowed to take drugs.  Ask his Doctor.  "SO IT'S NOT BECAUSE DRUGS ARE BAD (mmmkay)????" asks Parkinson.  It's so obvious where it's all going.  He's writing the headlines himself.  Like watching a brain surgeon operate using a rusty spoon, our inquisitive scamp goes in for the kill with "WHO IS THE MOST FAMOUS PERSON YOU KNOW WHO TAKES DRUGS??????".  Sadly, Dom does not say the Queen or Cilla Black or anyone at all, simply replying that actually he doesn't know that many famous people.  Undterred, the killer blow comes in the form of "SO ARE YOU ACTUALLY FILMING AT THE MOMENT", as if that admission on its own would damn Dom into oblivion.

It's just all so sad.  People seem so intent on exposing celebrities as scumbags that they fail to see the irony of themselves becoming said bags of scum simply by whipping out their phone.  I hope the £50 that the "interviewer" made from the story is spent well, probably on Carlsberg or Sovereign rings.  I wish Dom well for the future and hope nothing comes of this sordid little tale.  But mate, keep your mouth shut next time.