PURE AND SIMPLE. MOSTLY SIMPLE.

Fucking celebrities get right on my tits sometimes.  Take Myleene Klass.  Please.  She 'shot to fame' in distant dumpertastic band Hear'Say, and since they imploded she has obviously sold her soul to satan in return for a mediocre media career.  The woman is a talented pianist, but she also does and awful lot of shit stuff on TV.  Fair play to her, she's only trying to scrape a living like everyone else, but when stuff like this comes out it makes me want to pour boiling wax into my ears.

Thankfully it will only have a limited shelf life and be in the bargain bin on March 3rd.  Unless of course there is a whole series planned?  Myleene's music for fathers, obviously.  Myleene's music for second cousins.  Myleene's music for that funny uncle who used to smell of booze and ask you to jiggle about on his lap at weddings.  Somehow I can't see Myleene's people having such a sense of humour.  Otherwise her MUSIC FOR MOTHERS would have been a shortened version of the full title, and included tracks by Slipknot, Aphex Twin and Snoop Dogg.

Just when you think it can't get worse....

in which Myleene offers "practical advice, essential medical information and an honest account of what's in store for anyone expecting a baby".  Well thank you Myleene but if someone wants medical information they should really talk to a midwife or doctor.  And they are guaranteed to get much more honest accounts of what's in store simply by asking anyone who has ever had a baby.  I bet Myleene's diary doesn't talk about the moment her vagina ripped and she shat herself in front of a room full of strangers.