Yes, they now have an entire section devoted to "Tragic Lives". How fucking awful. They could at least try to put a positive spin on it and say 'inspiring stories' or 'overcoming adversity' rather than labelling people as tragic. I was too disturbed to actually look at any of the books, but I imagine they are full of stories about child abuse, mental illness, disability and the like. Nice, cheerful stuff. As Jenny Eclair once put it "I was born with a club foot but now I disco dance for Sheffield". The kind of thing you would find in shit magazines like Take A Break. Still at least now it's brightly lit and signposted so that when life is getting us down, we're never far away from shelves of people who have crappier ones than us.
Then.... double horror in Top Man. Firstly, I am now officially too old to shop in Top Man. Everything is distressed or vintage or ugly. Mostly the latter. Yellow cardigans over electric blue t-shirts. Frayed waistcoats over ripped black shirts. Pink hoodies covered in black and white spirals. It's like their buyer is an 80s-Goth-Pirate with a sadistic streak. And another thing... the sizes. Now call me old fashioned but when I were a lad it was S, M, L and XL if you were exotic. Top Man seems to have discovered new dimensions (literally) and now it ranges from XXS (!!!!) to XXL. Seven different sizes. An XXS is for someone with a 32" chest. That's not a man. I had a 32" chest when I was about 11 years old for fuck sake. Either Top Man are encouraging eating disorders or the male population has shrunk drastically. Whatever, their clothes look shit and I would have to remove all my ribs to fit into them. Farewell Top Manorexia it's been a long lovely love affair but I'm calling it off. I've outgrown you. In every way!
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