HURLING SHOES AT CLOUDS

I notice more and more these days not just how much of my time is spent online, but also how much of my life I am prepared and willing to promote on various websites and fora (forums? I never know).  Whether its daily gossipy messages on Facebook, showing the world the contents of my living room on Flickr, or listing every banal detail of my day on Twitter (entry from Saturday:  I met a man at a party who makes anatomically correct genitals out of balloons) there really is no limit to what I put ‘out there’.  But of course, there is.  Everything is chosen, un-chosen, plucked, slapped and airbrushed.  I have complete control over what I choose to share or not.  However, once it’s out there all kinds of things happen.  People comment!  They say things!  Mostly nice things but sometimes bonkers things.  YouTube seems to be a prime candidate for bonkers things. 

Take this comment someone left on one of my Westlife concert videos: "lol mark went wrong. lol!!!! he said im the sunshine which is the other verse. and then shane and him looked at each other. hahahaha".  Seriously.
 
And this from one of my clips of Madonna’s concert at the weekend: "She completely encourged the new Cold War by the ideological way. As an international peace keeper, I completely opposite her STUPID opinion and provoking behavior for different cultures and human beings in the earth, though I was her fan at past. By the way, why doesn't she dare to shame Russian?"  Quite.
 
Harmless fun.  However, what happens when people get personal.  What happens when a faceless font makes your blood boil?
 
I’m currently cyber-wrestling with a particular, let’s call him, “troll” on a certain singer’s forum, and it’s doing my head in.  It’s nothing important really and I am trying to rationalise it in my head and use my braincells more productively rather than trying to come up with interesting ways to boil this man’s head.  The basic premise is, after attending a ‘certain’ concert at the weekend, I posted a message on a forum saying pretty much what I’m about to say in the next post here.  It was what I considered to be a pretty balanced review, coming from a slightly disappointed punter.  It’s my opinion.  Feelings, not facts.  Mr Troll decided to reply in what I can only describe as shrieking tones, saying how wrong I was and that nobody should listen and that this was the best show ever OMG it wuz amaaaaazin LOLZ !!!one!! etc.  Think “leave Britney alone” but from a man slightly more orange.  I’m glad he enjoyed the show and that it made such an impact.  It’s kind of how I wish I felt about it really.  But his complete lack of ability to see anything from anyone elses’ point of view has wound me up good and proper.  Other people who shared my view are similarly castrated with his cutting quips.  He has started to leave lines and lines of text that just says “bleat bleat bleat” to anyone who disagrees with his opinion.
 
I’m getting overexcited again, and starting to come up with inventive ways to use him in a recipe, so let’s get back to the point.
 
For every lovely person out there who interacts with me online (you know who you are, thank you!) there are others who are going to be complete arseholes.  I just need to accept it.  Whether it’s an online forum, a blog, a comment on a YouTube video, I have to just accept that people say things for their benefit, not mine.  It’s a one way conversation.  It’s the equivalent of a drive-by shouting.  As I usually do in my head, I now publicly leave it to Charlie Brooker to describe so eloquently the concept I have clumsily been trying to describe.  I take some comfort knowing that it’s not just me who rages at the machine.
 
“There's no point debating anything online. You might as well hurl shoes in the air to knock clouds from the sky. The internet's perfect for all manner of things, but productive discussion ain't one of them. It provides scant room for debate and infinite opportunities for fruitless point-scoring: the heady combination of perceived anonymity, gestated responses, random heckling and a notional "live audience" quickly conspire to create a "perfect storm" of perpetual bickering.”
 
Thanks for listening, and for your kind comments J