BE HERE, 9PM

The country is literally not bothered about the final of The Apprentice tonight, but I am. Faithful readers, I will be giving it LITERALLY 110% and thinking totally "out of the blog" as I undertake a world first (for me) and LiveBlog the Apprentice Final.

So you, yes you, better be here at 9pm sharp. I've no idea how it will work, but hopefully inspiration will come with the first waft of Wotherspoon.

For the record, here are my predictions:

• Most of the losers will have undergone some kind of makeover for their return


• At least one female loser will have had hair extensions


• At least one male loser will have had liposuction


• Lucinda will be bullied by Ginger Jenny


• Raef will say something which on the surface looks profound but is actually meaningless.


• The two made up fragrances will have names like "POWER" or "GLORY"


• The losing team will be Alex and Helene.


• The eventual winner will be Lee McQueen

Will I be right? Do I care? You bet Margaret Mountford I do.

Be here for up-to-the-second commentary and analysis from someone who is old enough to have better things to do. That's what I'm talking about.