QUICK AND DIRTY

As I'm now paranoid that our net service may vanish at any time, like a shouty man constantly asking "are you still there" to the sharp end of a mobile phone, I thought I could do a quick news roundup of things that have caught my eye.  Things like:

Cheryl Cole replacing Sharon Osbourne on the X Factor.   On one hand this is amazing because Cheryl is absolutely the best Girl Aloud, but can you really see her being a mentor to anyone?  Does she genuinely have the knowledge and skills to help someone develop as a performer?  I hope so.  Sharon who?

Fern Britton takes "time off".  As a result of gastricbandgate, Fern has apparently been told to have some garden leave until the heat dies down.  Well that's one way of ensuring it will take a lot longer for the heat to die down!

DigitalSpy report that Madonna has hired a divorce lawyer and is about to get rid of Mr Richie.  Rather than showing concern, they super soaraway reported that with NO pre-nup, Madge is in for a fleecing. 

Shock horror, Andy Scott-Lee and Michelle Heaton have split up.  Did I ever tell you I met them?  I'll show you the photographic proof if you don't believe me!

For now, faithful reader, that is all.