ARE YOU STILL HERE?

Sadly, racist bully Jade Goody still makes the news.  Ok, it's not news at all and it's only featured in some crap celeb mag but really I thought her career was over?  It should have been after her blatant vitriolic rage was revealed to the nation.  Anyhoo, we're a fickle bunch so let's put all that nasty bad stuff under the carpet and move on shall we?  Pretend it never happend? Ok.  

So what has she done to warrant the attention of my beady eye?  Cured cancer? Brought peace to the middle east?  Rescued the global economy from the credit crunch?  No.  Jade has lost 2 stone in 2 weeks.  Whoopee.  How?  Well, she stopped eating crap and did some exercise.  Oh my god it's such a revelation I need to lie down my head is spinning spinning spinning.  Jade how could you have discovered such magical secrets?  You didn't?  You went to a fat farm?  Ok.  Well whatever I still think you're a miracle worker.  But hold on, you've lost weight in the past and told us all to let's get fit and get dancin' so how do I know this is true?  Show me a photo.  A really badly photoshopped one that looks like Barbie got chunky.  A photo so fake looking that even Milli Vanilli would feel vindicated.

Kthxbye.